My name is Payton. I am eighteen-years-old. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never been in a “serious” relationship with a guy. At this moment, I’m no where close to getting married. And I’m okay with that. Now some of you are thinking, “Wait a minute, Petie, isn’t getting married your biggest dream ever?” Well, yeah, it is. But it hasn’t happened yet.
The older I get, the more I get asked if I’m getting worried since there is no man in my life. But the honest and raw answer is… no, I’m not worried. Which surprises even me since I used to joke that I wanted to be married by my nineteenth birthday. But I’m honestly not concerned about it. I’ve never even had that oh-no-what-if-I-end-up-an-old-maid moment yet.
The truth is, the reason I’m not wondering about the lack of a guy in my life is because I believe God has me right where He wants me right now. And obviously, He doesn’t think I’m ready to get married yet, or He needs me to finish my present work for Him before I move on and have my own family. At this point in my life, I’m working on my writing (and hopefully getting closer and closer to publication), serving my family, serving others, and serving the Lord. I’ve recently been convicted of my extreme selfishness. I realized I spend too much time on myself and my wants. So one of my “resolutions,” per se, was to be bold and aggressive in finding ways to serve others, things that have no focus on me whatsoever (i.e., volunteer work, ministry opportunities, or just helping someone out for a day). Things like this and my writing are what I know God wants me doing right now. So how can I be bored or wishing for marriage if I’m busy doing the Lord’s work?
If you know me even a tiny bit, then you know that my biggest dreams are to be a published author, travel, and be married, not necessarily in that order. But God has been teaching me a lot about contentment lately. I want to do this, I want to do that… And God says no. Not yet. No, Petie, you can’t get married right now because you still have some growing to do. No, Petie, you can’t run off to England and live in London (at least not yet… mwuahahaha) because I need you to stay right here in Oklahoma and do My work here for now.
Another reason I’m not worried about marriage is because I’m so excited. That may sound like an oxymoron, but I cannot wait to see who God will bring, when He will do it, and how. It may be years from now, or it may be tomorrow. But I know He’ll orchestrate everything in His perfect timing, so why should I be concerned?
If I were being totally honest, I would say the idea of never marrying scares me. But that doesn’t mean I should worry myself to death over it, or I should just sit at home and wait for a guy to fall from the sky. One of these days, I believe God will point out That Special Someone and say, “There he is. You’re ready for him now.” But that day is not today. Basically, what I’m trying to say is God didn’t give me these single years so I could sit around and wait; He gave them to me so I could live, embrace this life and live it to the fullest. So I’ll go on living and working and writing and serving and praying and drinking coffee. Right here. Right now. And that’s okay with me.
AND WUV. TWU WUV WILL FOWWOH ME FOHEVAH.
country girl
I love this! I really do.
Marriage has always been my “life goal” if you could call it that. I found it encouraging reading this, and seeing your contentment with where you are right now. Thanks for leading the way. I wanna feel the way you do, I want to totally get to that place…not be half in and half out.
There’s totally a prince charming out there for you, girl. There’s no doubting it. You’re such a gem.
Oh, I so agree. Every year, more of my friends pursue relationships and I can start to feel left out. I know God has a plan, and His will for me is to wait. And one day, I’ll look back and see just how beautiful the waiting was. It’s so worth it.
“And one day, I’ll look back and see just how beautiful the waiting was.” Mmmmm… beautifully said, Neeley. =)
Oh, yes. Yes. YES.
This is wonderful. Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone (: It really *is* possible to have that dream and be content where you are.
-mattie
What an awesome post Petie! You are such an encouragement to other young ladies who are waiting for the Lord to bring the Right One along.
I have come to the same conclusion as you… serve people, love the Lord, and wait patiently. If there never will be a Significant Other in my life, I can live with that. Life is beautiful! All it needs is our participation in it
Puddle-my-puddle.
We need to invent a word for this phenomenon. A simple, sturdy word that encompasses the whole you-just-took-the-words-right-outa-my-head-and-this-is-exactly-what-I’ve-been-wanting-to-articulate-for-like-ever thing. Because it would come in really handy at times like these. How about KAPOW?
Eh, nah, that sounds like something out of a comic book.
Well, we’ll think of something eventually. But anyways. This post. It COMPLETELY says everything I’ve been feeling lately. Like you, I’ve always been the girl who wants to get married ASAP and live the rest of my life with the man of my dreams, et cetera et cetera et cetera. And I still want that. Very much. I really do want a guy to look at me and say he must have me for his own because I am his day, I am his night, I am his flowwwwwwwah.
And yet lately I’ve been feeling like I’m just not ready for that yet. Maybe it’s the fact that so many of my friends are suddenly talking seriously about… all that… and that girls my own age (acquaintances, not close friends, but STILL) are suddenly popping up as courting or dating or even ENGAGED. And… well, there’s a musical I’ve heard bits of on Pandora called “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off.” Precisely.
So though I am so looking forward to the day when God chooses to bring a man into my life (or not…), I’m SO happy to be right where I am right now. Not in a relationship or anything close to it and not feeling deprived when my friends-and-relations ask if there’s anything “in the wind” or if I really, truly, honestly don’t have a guy. (Even when it gets tiresome constantly saying no.
) This part of my life isn’t just a training ground for married life– it IS life! Hello! Let’s live it! I mean, I’m definitely not one of those people that say your young years are for partying and having a good time and, hey, YOLO (yeah, well, YODO too buddy 
) but I really do believe that it’s easy to waste these precious years by pining after the future.
So here’s to each and every fabulous single gal who’s quite content to wait (but not idly) for the unbelievably fabulous guy (or unbelievably fabulous single life) God has in store for her.
And we really do need to think of a word for that phenomenon.
~Chauvie who just wrote an entire lecture in your comment box
I would love to write a reply to this comment, but my hands need to stop shaking from laughter first so I can type…
Alright, Chauvie. You get the award for Best Commenter. Yup. “How about KAPOW?” Bahahahahaha.
Haha, yes, sometimes it does get tiring always having to say “no” when people ask if there is “someone” in my life. But still, even though I have to say it a lot, I’ve never felt discouraged or deprived when giving that same ol’ answer. Like you said, this part of our lives isn’t just marriage training. We need to live! And live life to the fullest, accomplishing great things and glorifying our Father.
And in the meantime……… YOLO!!!!
You’re precious, my Chauvie. I just know that some day some unbelievably fabulous guy will look at you and say, “Look at her, she’s amazing! I must have her in my life. She is my day, she is my night, she is my flowwwwwah.” Let’s just hope he doesn’t throw a rock at your head… But if he does, I’m sure the little pebble will find its mark!
Love ya!
~ your little puddleduck
This is lovely. I love your attitude toward mawwiage and all that
I know so many girls who spend so much time worrying about getting married and, it seems to me, just miss out on enjoying the blessings of where they are and carry out their mission God has given them for now.
It’s good to hear this from someone who is further ahead in life than I am. I hope that my outlook on my life and my future will be the same as yours when I am your age.
You are such a fun girl with a great heart.
Love ya,
-mal
This is beautiful Petie! And encouraging too.
thank you. 
Blessings!
-Madi
DUDE. We ARE soulmates girlfrand. Let’s just buy a condo and be roomies, and watch movies, and I’ll photograph you writing while eating ice-cream. Deal? I luhh ew!
Oh, Sherlock! Indeed, I am charmed by your delightful way of speaking my mind. :p
Ohmygosh Darcy. I could just write a big A M E N on every one of your posts, but especially this one.
I’m so glad I found your blog and especially this post! I’m in the same situation and this post has definitely helped
Thank you!
why on earth have these posts not been emailed to me???? they didn’t even show up in….oooooohhh wait a minute. thaaaats right. I subscribed with my other email. duh. so dumb.
but wait…your twu wuv will always be mine first, right? and remember? I said I would bring ben over. so. we’re all good.
but seriously, this is like what we’re were talking about when we called, and I love the view you have on marriage. so incredibly refreshing. but I know that you’re actually just sitting at home, learning how to cook and sew, just waiting at the door every day for your future husband (the perfect one, you know? the one with no faults?) to come along. I mean, serrisly, I KNOW what you’re REALLY doing.
mwuahahahaha.
duh. of course you have my twu wuv. especially if you bring ben with you.
hahahaha!
yeah, this post was actually inspired a lot by our discussion! it was so nice to talk about all that with you, someone who has such a refreshing outlook on time spent after graduating high school.
WHAT? you mean to tell me there are men out there who are NOT perfect?? what is this sorcery…
yikes. yup. you know all my little secrets. gulp.
Okay, so I found my way here through a maze of blogs, and this is my first visit so I hope you don’t mind if I comment. Perhaps you don’t even read comments that come waaaaay late? Well, I’m commenting anyway.
I just wanted to say that this is an excellent attitude! You are at a wonderful age to really make this true in your life. I’m speaking as a 31 year old single gal. I won’t deny that even at my “ancient” age, I look at my married friends and I desire for the same thing. I can’t sugarcoat the fact that it’s really, really hard sometimes. But God is good, and exactly like you said, He has our lives already planned out to His perfect will. Why on earth would I want to circumvent that by jumping ahead of Him? Not a one of us single or married gals would want that. So what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that if God brings The One into your life soon, praise His name! But if He doesn’t, praise His name in that too! Live your lives each moment, not planning for some nebulous future that may not happen. You are commendable for realizing this at your age. Trust me when i say that having that kind of attitude will get you through the next however long until either God brings you a guy, or some other absolutely amazing thing happens. It will make you a happier person in general.
I’ve experienced girls who aren’t married and desperately wish to be. So much so that it pretty well takes over their life. And yes, these are lovely, christian girls. This type of attitude does not endear them to anyone around them. I speak this as someone who loves them dearly, so I don’t mean to sound terribly critical. What I’m saying is that marriage is wonderful (so I hear) but so is a singleness! You still have years ahead of you (Lord willing) to experience life and all it’s awesomeness! Life is amazing and we should all be living it to give all honor and glory to our Savior, no matter what circumstances we may be in.
*end of rant* Sorry about the extremely long post, I just felt to add my two cents. This really was a lovely post. Keep encouraging others to keep the faith! I think you’re quite good at it.